well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
