I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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