Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
