You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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