omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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