Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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