So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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