if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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