fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
