when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
