im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
