Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
