Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
