I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
