4 words: hood of his car
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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