Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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