please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
