Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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