Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
