she woke up with a sticky ear
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
