Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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