"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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