No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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