I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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