VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
