ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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