It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
