Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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