They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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