You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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