Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
