i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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