I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
