I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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