ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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