dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
