remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
