oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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