hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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