I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
