i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize