yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize