Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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