we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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