i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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