I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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