I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
