Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
