and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
