Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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