Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
