Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize