i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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