I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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