Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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