the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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