how can u be prego again
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
