i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
